Wednesday, June 10, 2009
After Lex's speech therapy today I'm experiencing a lot of guilt. Jack, his therapist, mentioned that he didn't think Lex was making as much progress as he was before. He also asked if we have an order for occupational therapy, we don't, because he thinks that a little occupational therapy would help with the speech. He wants us to continue trying to get Lex to do back and forth play and to sign "more" when he wants more of something, especially since Lex is looking for eye contact more. But with all this I'm feeling immense amounts of guilt. I feel guilty that we brought him to see a resident versus a pediatrician right off the bat. I feel guilty that we put him in front of the tv so much so we can get things done (cooking, cleaning and sleep for Nate). I feel guilty that I put him in the old daycare where he didn't have much interaction with the daycare owner since the tv was on all the time. I feel guilty that I agreed to pick up hours so that for the next month and a half I'll be working full time, cutting down the amount of time I can spend working on his speech and other "assignments" from therapy. I know this isn't all my fault and he'll never hold it against me but I still feel this way.