Sunday, October 19, 2008
I've determined that I've been frustrated with life lately, the damn curveballs get to me more than they should and maybe it's because I feel like I'm deserving of some things that maybe I'm not. I feel like getting pregnant this time around should be easier, after all 4 1/2 years of tears and frustrations to have Lex felt like more than necessary. I feel that my husband should be more willing to try for another baby because that means more sex something he always wants. I feel that he should want to see me happy with two little children because I put in so much work here taking care of our house and our son and really another child is all I want. I feel like I deserve the job I'm applying for tomorrow because I've put in my dues doing float work, coming in when needed and not scheduled, working hard to learn what I need to do at each clinic, fighting to fit in at clinic after clinic. I feel that my friend who's been ttcing for so damn long should be blessed with a child before any other woman I know who hasn't been through that long journey is. I know life isn't fair but wouldn't it be nice if it was once in a while?