Tuesday, April 13, 2010

I wish I knew

I'm feeling really stuck now with Lex and the situation at daycare. Recently we've been getting periodic calls about Lex's behavior at daycare, he's hitting, pulling hair, biting and all around just causing trouble. I try to give recommendations but today it came to a head. Nate received a call asking to have a meeting set up to discuss Lex, his behaviors and what can be done with the whole situation. After much discussion the plan is to try moving him back to the 18-23 month room and see how he does there since there are fewer kids and a slower pace. While I feel that this decision is pretty good I'm worried that I'm not making enough strides to help him. I really do like his daycare and the teachers in the room he's in now aren't bad but I can't help but wonder if maybe pulling him from that daycare and putting him in a home based one where the limit on children is lower would be best for him overall. The main downside I see to that is the likelihood of him being too much for one person to handle is higher (each of his daycare classrooms now have at least 2 teachers). I want to do what's best for my family and taking care of my son but I really have no idea what that is right now. I can see why when a child is diagnosed with autism sometimes parents quit working... if that was only an option.


D said...

I wish I was there to hug you, first off is the daycare equipped to handle Lex's needs? Why is holding him back such a bad thing? You have to look at him not from the stand point of the calendar but where his mind is. You can buy him all the toys in the world that say 3+ age but if his mind isn't ready for 3+ toys there are just going to sit there untouched or get thrown around. Look into a behavior therapist to come work with him at the day care or see what you 0-3 program can help you with. It's great that the daycare is willing to work with you guys, it shows how much they really care. (((hugs))) It sounds like Lex is frustrated and can't express himself in a better way. You need to find the steps that help him express what he needs and wants. He is worth the effort (I know you know that, but sometimes you need to hear it)

Cate said...

Holding him back isn't bad, I never wanted him to move up to this room because I didn't think he was ready but the numbers in the classrooms meant he had to move. I know developmentally he's closer to the babies than the 2 year old.

Thanks for the idea about the behavior therapist, that might be worth looking into.

MommyP said...

Cate, I totally agree with looking into a behavioral therapist. Also, is there another option for daycare? I know around here, we have something calle "special care" for kiddos with delays. Not that I think Lex needs to be around other kids with delays, but the teachers may be more able to help him.

Holding him back is probably a good thing. Stephen is still in the 2 year old room at Children's Day Out, mostly because he isn't Potty Trained at school, but I also think its still just a better room for him. He's not able to communicate well enough to be in the 3 year old room.

As much as we want our boys to be with the kids their age, there's something to be said for having them in the younger class, for their safety and well-being as well. (((HUGS)))

Logical Mommy said...

I really think that you're doing him a disservice by keeping him in that daycare, period. It is clear that they have no idea how to handle him. It's nice that they try and they want to help, but they need to admit that they just don't have the training. It's not a matter of Lex being "bad" nor is it the daycare being insensitive.

My nephew, who is 3, goes to a special preschool 5 days a week. He was identified as autistic not too long before Lex was. I can put you in touch with my sister-in-law if you like.

The more intervention you do now with him, the easier time you are likely to have as he gets older. Don't be afraid to ask for help.

Cate said...

Mol, our options are really limited for daycare right now and the only daycare I've called that has a lot of experience with kids with autism has a waiting list and is more money than we can afford for the 3 days he goes a week. Right now we are also in holding because in May he'll be evaluated for the school district to take over his special education needs for when he turns 3. I'm not really afraid to ask for help as much as not knowing where to go for the help, we live in a relatively small city and our options here are pretty limited due to that fact.

tbonegrl said...

Summy had similar issues but they moved him "up." What resulted was him playing alone and being isolated, and an issue with the boys being separated.

For us what has worked is a behavior plan, tension vests and weight belts, and educating the heck out of our teachers.