Every year I tell myself I'm going to buckle down and spring clean and most years it just doesn't happen, this year is different. I've already accomplished quite a bit by getting all of the baby clothes that we'll never use again as well as a bunch of toys and other things that I haven't unpacked from our move over a year ago. I have to admit I cried when gathering the baby clothes. I've always felt that I would have more than one child but Nate and I have come to an agreement that we should probably just have Lex. We are financially strapped and it doesn't look like we'll be rolling in the money anytime soon. Speech and occupational services will stop being free in October and Nate has at least 2 more years of school and then I wanted to go back to get my M.D. With all those in consideration I've decided that my desire to give Lex a sibling just wasn't reasonable, especially knowing what I had to do (clom.id and injectibles with IUI) to conceive him. I fear that he'll feel alone in the world but I hope that my brothers will get married and have children soon so that he can have at least one cousin (other than Haiden) close to his age that he can be close to like I have.
I guess in addition to the spring cleaning of my basement I did a little spring cleaning in my soul.