Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Tomorrow this all becomes real. I don't see the goal as being the "easy" but it's a goal. I'm meeting with a lawyer to go over the divorce paperwork and hopefully start the ball rolling on getting what I need to take care of Lex. Nate has been out of the house for almost 2 months and has been helping where he can but tomorrow signifies my desire to make it just me, even if I'm having some doubts about that. They are purely idiotic doubts, things so ridiculous they shouldn't be slipping into my mind but they are. To me tomorrow is sealing off of a connection that I've had for so long. It's the end of Lex having a full blooded sibling. It's the end of a relationship that was based on love. I know I'm just meeting with the lawyer, we aren't signing the final papers but this one step scares the crap out of me. I know Nate and I can't coexist but what about Lex?