Congrats

I want to congratulate my friends Sarah and Angel on their good news. You two are both so deserving and I'm sending lots of sticky vibes.

Mommy guilt

After Lex's speech therapy today I'm experiencing a lot of guilt. Jack, his therapist, mentioned that he didn't think Lex was making as much progress as he was before. He also asked if we have an order for occupational therapy, we don't, because he thinks that a little occupational therapy would help with the speech. He wants us to continue trying to get Lex to do back and forth play and to sign "more" when he wants more of something, especially since Lex is looking for eye contact more. But with all this I'm feeling immense amounts of guilt. I feel guilty that we brought him to see a resident versus a pediatrician right off the bat. I feel guilty that we put him in front of the tv so much so we can get things done (cooking, cleaning and sleep for Nate). I feel guilty that I put him in the old daycare where he didn't have much interaction with the daycare owner since the tv was on all the time. I feel guilty that I agreed to pick up hours so that for the next month and a half I'll be working full time, cutting down the amount of time I can spend working on his speech and other "assignments" from therapy. I know this isn't all my fault and he'll never hold it against me but I still feel this way.

Making progress

Lex has gone to speech therapy 3 times so far and he's already making progress. His therapist Jack has noticed that with very little prompting now Lex will look us in the eyes to get what he wants. We are working on trying to teach him the sign for more and to do more back and forth play per recommendations of the therapist. I hope this means we are getting closer to words but I just don't know. Jack also said we'll be having Lex see Sheila who does the occupational therapy.

Little man went to see his pediatrician this week and she confirmed the he probably does have seasonal allergies so she advised we give him Zyrtec at least once daily so his eyes don't swell closed. I knew he was like me, most of my allergy symptoms are in my eyes.

Talk to me baby

Today was Lex's evaluation at speech therapy. I went in half expecting to be told to be patient that boys are just slow to start really talking and lo and behold my concerns were found to be valid. After just a few minutes of talking to me and watching Lex play in her office the evaluator said he's a sensory kid, which is why he likes to make loud noises and bang on things. She recommended speech therapy and possibly a little occupational therapy for him. She also gave him a couple websites that I have to go to to look up information on language development and apraxia. While Lex is too young to have the diagnosis of apraxia she wanted me to know what to look for as signs. She is also asking our dr's office to run a tympanogram (test to see how well his ear drums work) and to check his tonsills really well. After some discussion with Nate we have decided to take him to the speech therapist at St Luke's and I'm contemplating calling the birth to 3 program to do a double handed approach to his therapy. She recommended teaching him sign language too as a way for him to communicate his needs a little better.

While I feel a little better about the fact he doesn't talk and that we are headed in the right direction I feel like crap that no one listened to my concerns earlier...

Woohoo!

All it took was a little bitching on my behalf and then logging my food into fitday to realize where I was making my mistakes. I was eating waaaay to many calories. Ideally I should be averaging about 1500 so that I have energy to exercise and not send my body into starvation mode and I was getting way more than that. But since I realized that on Saturday night I've been better at watching what I eat and have made it down to 190. Just have to lose one pound before the 9th to make my goal of being below 190 for Jenna's shower, but hopefully I lose at least 2 before then. I'm very proud of myself though, I've worked out every day since my dietician appt last Monday and I can see a small change in my thighs already (I do a lot of yoga and things like squats and lunges during my workout).

Lex has been so cute the past couple days all snuggly and happy with me. Just now he was resting his head on my knee so he could watch one of his two favorite movies (he LOVES the Ice Age movies, we'll be taking him to the new one in July, I'm sure he'll do wonderfully since he is just enamored with these movies).

On the job front my new manager, Jordan, called on Saturday to see if I could cover an urgent care (I couldn't, I just got Lex back from my in-laws and didn't really want to work) and he notified me that he told HR to offer me the position that I wanted. So now I have a home clinic! No more float work! I'm so excited and I've gotten many congrats from the people I work with, they are happy I'm sticking around and so am I.

So frustrating!

Ok I know I'm sorta pushing it but cripes you'd think I would have dropped some weight this week. I saw the dietician on Monday and she has me doing food and activity logs with some goals in mind (my current goals for the next 3 weeks are smaller portion sizes, doing the logs, chocolate limited to 2-3 times/week and at least 30 minutes of activity 5 times a week) and I would say I've been doing pretty well to meet my goals but cripes I've only lost maybe a pound for my efforts. I weigh in on my wii fit daily so I can do my body test and while the number isn't as good as it was on Monday (when I hadn't been eating all last week due to a stomach bug) I just can't seem to break the 192 mark and since my goal is to be below 190 for my neice's shower on the 9th it's pretty important to me to get below 192 in the first place. Deep down I know I need to be patient but it's frustrating me to no end, especially knowing I really work hard when I'm exercising and I'm drinking so much water as not to confuse thirst for hunger. Hopefully I can reach my goal of a 50 pound loss by the end of the year so we can start trying for baby number 2 again. (I really need to lose 60-72 pounds overall but it takes me so long to get preggers I figure I can work on losing that last 10-22 while we try.)

In other news I applied to be in a permanent clinical assistant position that I'm currently filling as a float and the doc all but told me she wanted me to stay. I'm hoping to get a call in the next couple days from the manager to say it's official but seeing as he left yesterday before the interview and we aren't in clinic today I probably won't get the thumbs up until next week sometime (hopefully in time for my birthday).

Where has time gone?

Yesterday was Lex's 18 month well child. Honestly when did he start to grow up? I suppose the walking and ignoring most of what I say should have been a hint... The appointment was pretty run of the mill, go over all the same crap they went over 3 months ago, examine him and ask my concerns. I mentioned how I'm a little worried about his lack of speech and how I think he has allergies. Nothing really came of the allergies concern, at least nothing I don't do already. We are getting a referral to speech therapy though. She agreed that he was short of words they'd expect for a kid his age. She did recommend in the meantime to cut down on his use of sippy cups at home and use regular cups. This scares the crap out of me, she doesn't see the mess he makes with the "no spill" sippy cups, but if it'll help him learn to speak I'll give it a shot.

Sad...

My computer died yesterday after Nate went through all the effort to try to restore it (and inadvertently delete all my pictures of Lex... I think he's jealous of my gorgeous boy lol). So until further notice I'll be sharing a computer with Nate which means I'll get very little time to log on.

After Lex kicked me in the face last week I developed a very nasty headache that has yet to go away. I was told initially that I just had a migraine but when it didn't go away I went and saw another doc at our clinic and he thinks that it's a muscle tension headache that started at the injury site since I was already swollen and sore there (although it was manageable until the kick). I'm on stronger pain meds and they help, until they wear off and then I'm miserable again but what can you do?

Lex had picture day today at daycare and when we get the pictures back I'll have Nate scan em so I can show everyone. We have conferences there next week and his well child is on the 24th so hopefully I can address any of their concerns with the doc as well.

Time to take more meds so off to La-La land for me...

Our less than wonderful day

Today was not the best day for me and Lex, Lex especially.

First thing Lex climbed in my lap on the couch to hang his feet over the edge and while I had my head turned (playing on Facebook) he fell flat on the floor, I don't know what happened he just fell. Next, Lex was playing and the kitten tripped him and he fell flat on his face. Then he was intently looking at a block he was playing with and walked into the door frame for our hall. Finally, he was playing with his wagon and pinched his thumb under the side rail. Out of all that he only ended up with a small cut on his top lip and one just below his lower lip. (Thankfully because next week at daycare is picture day and goodness knows I would like some nice pictures.)

Then at naptime he was fighting me to put him down to sleep and swung his leg and caught my nose. I was in immediate pain and tears. Thankfully I only had a little pink discharge and the pain. I still called in and since my dr was out the other doc told me to just take my pain meds (I ran out after the kitten "snuggled" my nose.) and ice it as needed. I still have a bit of a headache but overall I'm feeling better.

Lex is back in his toddler bed and overall doing well. He doesn't like to go to bed while it's still light out and so bedtime is moving back a little bit to accomodate this. Right now he's busy playing with the blocks he got for his birthday, he has become very interested in stacking and "building" with his blocks lately. He has also said a couple new words so right now his list is, Mama, Dada, Nana, hot, kah (cat), yay and ooo. I still worry about his lack of speech so when we see the doc for his 18 month check up I'm going to bring it up again. I'm also going to ask her about allergies. I think he has his mama's allergies. He has a really hard time breathing through his nose and more often than not just breathes through his mouth. I feel like I'm always wiping clear snot from his lip. I don't know what she'll tell me to do but I don't want to keep giving him benadryl because it makes him sooooo sleepy. My main concern if he has allergies is that it could be affecting his hearing, I have problems with my allergies and the first thing affected is my ears.

All done

My septoplasty and turbinate out fracture went well. My mother in law said I was in and out of surgery realitively quickly and in recovery for as long as I was in surgery. The packing was awful, gave me a headache and hurt like hell to pull out (good thing I had Nate around to pull it out for me because I wouldn't have been able to do it myself). I'm still sore and since Lex accidentally smacked me it's hurt a little more but I'm trying to hold off on pain meds as long as I can in case we have another bumping accident. The only odd thing is the roof of my mouth right behind my front teeth is numb, which feels really wierd when I bump my tongue ring against it. I am glad it's over and I hope I'll be able to breathe through my nose soon.

I'm watching ER and I can't believe it's the end of an era. I've been watching for years and there have been few episodes that didn't make me cry at some point so I will miss my Thursday night date.

I should log off while I'm still a functioning person (i.e. before my lortabs kick in). But I wanted to send out a Congrats to Sarah on her new pregnancy (try not to worry honey) and to Nancy on the results of her recent test. And a big PINK hug to Shauna for the news of having a daughter baking in her belly.